


A Mother's Advice

by thatwriterlady



Series: 30 Day Writing Challenge 2015 [24]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 30 day writing challenge, Dean Has Feelings For Castiel, Falling In Love, Fluff, Human Castiel, I cried as I wrote this, It's so fluffy and full of feels, Lonely Dean, M/M, Marriage, More Fluff, so many feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-24
Updated: 2015-11-24
Packaged: 2018-05-03 13:12:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5292146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatwriterlady/pseuds/thatwriterlady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Before Mary Winchester died she imparted one piece of wisdom on her elder son, words that he has struggled his entire life to understand and to live by: <em>“Be happy, Dean.  Love with everything you have, and just be happy.”</em></p><p>He flounders, unsure how to take her advice, and he spends most of his life miserable, trying to be happy but not finding it.  Until a certain man with crystal blue eyes and messy hair practically falls into his life.  Castiel teaches Dean that he can be happy after all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Mother's Advice

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so I rode the feels train again and it's a bit obvious, but it's another warm, fuzzy blanket of fluff, and I loved writing it. I hope you all enjoy it too. You might want to keep the tissues on hand. Just a fair warning as I sit here sniffling and dabbing at my own eyes...

There were fewer things more important to Dean than trying to follow the advice his mother had given him as a little boy.

 _“Be happy, Dean. Love with everything you have, and just be happy.”_

She had told him these words over and over again. When she died these words still echoed in his head, reverberated off his spine, resonated in his every cell, and he never forgot. 

Trying to live by those words though proved to be harder than he had thought possible. All through his childhood his father had told him to honor his mother and do what would make her proud. But what was that, exactly? He knew, instinctively that her message of happiness, of self-fulfillment was what he could do to honor her memory. 

But how, as the most miserable son of a bitch to walk the planet was he supposed to find happiness, and not just find it, embrace it and love another person with everything he had? He felt it was impossible. 

It wasn’t that he didn’t try, because he did. Time and time again he tried.

Lori

Rhonda

Amy

Rachelle

Lisa

But time and time again he found himself unable to give himself over completely, unable to love them the way they deserved, and unable to allow himself to be loved. It wasn’t that he wasn’t happy. He was, technically. He had his brothers, Sam and Adam, his dad, a lovely stepmother that loved him as though he were her own, and his shop. He had worked hard to open his auto shop and it was his pride and joy. Both of his brothers worked with him and though he was no retired, even his dad came down to work with him from time to time. He had friends, family, financial security. It was more than a lot of people had, and yet still his mother’s words reverberated in his soul.

_“Be happy, Dean. Love with everything you have, and just be happy.”_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By thirty five had had given up on dating. The random hook ups weren’t satisfying and he felt that he was dishonoring his mother’s memory by having them, so essentially he was giving up sex completely, but what it really felt like was that he was giving up the potential to be happy, even if the women he had taken to his bed hadn’t done anything but make him more miserable. 

Why couldn’t just find that one person, the one that would make him feel whole, and who would love him completely, flaws and all, and that he could love just as deeply? 

It was just as he had decided it was hopeless, that he was not meant to find the happiness that his mother hand insisted upon when Castiel came walking into his life. The shy, awkward man with the piercing blue eyes that looked at Dean in a way that no one ever had before. He looked at Dean as though he were truly seeing him, and he liked what he saw. It left him feeling raw and exposed to have the man’s gaze fall on him, to know that he was paying attention, but the most confusing part of it all was the way it really made him feel.

Dean had never really thought about his sexuality or orientation. He had dated women because…well, just because. They were there, they were interested, and he knew how to flirt with them and he knew what they expected of him. On occasion he had found other men attractive but they’d never shown interest in him, and he hadn’t flirted, mostly because he didn’t know how to do it. It was different with Castiel though. 

They had met completely by chance. Dean had gotten tired of living alone. Coming home every evening to an empty house was painful, so he had gone down to the shelter with his brother Sam and he had adopted a dog. Angel had been as drawn to him as he’d been to her, and as his fingers sunk into her soft, thick, white fur and she had tipped her head up to lick his cheek, he’d known she was meant to be his. She made living alone at least bearable, and at night he had someone to keep him company. 

Every weekend he took her for a walk to the park three blocks away where they would play Frisbee or ball, and he would watch her run around, chasing birds or sometimes her own tail. For him it was a hint of the happiness he had promised his mother he would find. Angel made him happy, and he hoped that he made her happy in return. This particular day he had thrown the Frisbee, perhaps a bit too hard, and Angel ran for it. Too late Dean realized she was barreling straight towards a man that was walking in their direction. If it wasn’t bad enough that the disc ended up clipping the poor guy in the head, he ended up with seventy pounds of a snow white husky, shepherd mix knocking him to the ground. By the time Dean reached his dog and this stranger, the man was laughing as Angel licked him senseless.

“I am _so_ sorry man! I should have been watching what I was doing! Angel, off!” Dean commanded. For the first time ever, the dog didn’t listen. She simply looked up him with sad blue eyes, not wanting to leave her newfound friend.

“It’s alright, she’s ok.” The man reached up to run his fingers through the dog’s hair, and she immediately went back to trying to lick him. He laughed and pulled her down so he could hug her. She melted into it, making Dean smile.

“I’ve never seen her respond to someone like that before. She really likes you.” 

“She’s absolutely gorgeous. I’ve never seen a dog so perfectly white like this before. Is she a husky?” Angel stepped back, allowing the man to sit up and when he looked up, Dean’s breath caught in his throat. The man’s eyes were as blue as Angel’s.

“Um, I adopted her, so she was listed as a husky shepherd mix.” He noticed the red mark on the man’s forehead and crouched down to get a better look at it. “Wow, I hit you pretty good. I’m sorry about that.”

The man smiled and brought a hand up to gingerly touch the bump on his forehead. He grimaced at the pain before dropping it back into his lap. “I’ll live, though I think perhaps I will need some ibuprofen.” He looked up at Dean and those blue eyes widened. “I’m Castiel.” He held out one hand and Dean smiled before shaking it.

“I’m Dean.”

“So, at the risk of it sounding like a cheesy pick up line, do you come here often?” Castiel asked, smiling. Dean grinned and shook his head.

“Yes, actually. I spend a lot of time here with Angel.”

Castiel looked around. There were people everywhere. Some flying kites, some tossing a ball around, others playing with their dogs. It brought an even warmer smile to his lips, lips that Dean found himself hard pressed not to wonder what they would taste like. Castiel was incredibly attractive. When he turned back to look at Dean those blue eyes were alight with a warmth that made Dean’s heart ache. They reminded him of his mother, or at least, what he could remember of her. He offered the man a hand and helped him to his feet. Castiel swayed slightly and Dean felt a fresh wave of guilt.

“Do you want to see a doctor? I’ll pay for it. I really am sorry about that.”

“No, I’ll be fine but…maybe you could make it up to me? There’s an outdoor café around the corner. Buy me a coffee? Angel can come, it’s dog friendly.” Castiel’s smile was tentative and shy, and Dean was reluctant to allow this attractive stranger to just leave.

“Yeah, sure.” 

He made Angel fetch the Frisbee before he clipped her leash back on and falling in step beside Castiel, they headed out of the park. The café wasn’t far but Dean enjoyed the walk immensely. For one, he wasn’t alone, and for two he had an incredibly attractive man at his side that was clearly interested in him, whether it was for friendship or something more he wasn’t yet sure, and he didn’t care. He craved the company, and Castiel talked freely, so he listened.

Castiel was new to town, having only been there a month, and had just found the park by accident that day. He’d thought it would be pleasant to go for a walk, though he hadn’t expected to get hit with a Frisbee, or have a huge dog jumping on him. Angel, for her part, stayed close to Castiel, nudging his hand as they walked and licking at his palm. Dean was impressed with the man’s patience and his gentle nature. Dogs were excellent judges of character so if Angel liked this man, he did too. 

The café was one that Dean had passed on occasion, though he had never been to it. As they found a table, Angel settled herself between them, resting her head on Castiel’s knee. 

“She’s tripping me out right now, she never does this with people.” Dean mused as he reached over to run his fingers through the fur on his dog’s head. He hadn’t realized that Castiel was doing the same thing and when their fingers brushed, it sent electric shocks all through Dean. He didn’t immediately pull away, and neither did the other man. Instead Castiel smiled shyly at him and he found himself smiling back.

“She’s sweet. I love dogs.” Castiel said. Angel’s tail wagged as though she understood his words and he smiled at her. “You’re a good girl, aren’t you?” He cooed and she lifted her head, ears perking up at his praise.

Their conversation was easy and Dean found that liked Castiel. He liked him a lot. He was a teacher, living alone, and he didn’t know anyone in town. Dean was the first person he’d really stopped to talk to. Dean was glad for that. Two cups of coffee later Dean found that he didn’t want Castiel to leave. While he knew how to read women and interpret their body language, he was generally clueless with men, but somehow he got the impression that Castiel was as reluctant to just walk away as he was. The way the man leaned closer when he talked, and the way he seemed to hang on Dean’s every word, whether he spoke of his family or working on cars, Castiel not only seemed to listen, he seemed to care, and he asked questions no one had bothered to ask him before.

What was it that drew him to want to fix cars?

Did it make him happy working under the hood of a vehicle that wasn’t running, figuring out the problem and getting it running again?

What was the best part of his job?

Dean found himself genuinely excited to answer these questions, and he leaned in as he talked, still petting Angel, just as Castiel was, and when their fingers brushed one last time, he found his own lingering , covering Castiel’s. He’d never been attracted to someone with this much intensity, and it was a little overwhelming. Mostly it was exciting and he knew as they stood to leave that he wanted to see this man again. 

For the first time in his life Dean took a chance that was purely for his own need. He’d always been the one to take care of others, whether it was his father and his brother Sam after his mom died, or even his little brother Adam after his stepmother Kate had taken a night shift at the hospital. Dean always put others first. This time though he wanted to put himself first, and he wanted Castiel.

So for the first time in his life, he asked another man out. 

It was thrilling and terrifying at the same time, but the smile Castiel gifted him with was breathtaking, and he nodded eagerly, already pulling his phone out to add Dean to his contact list. Dean did the same, and as they left the café, he found himself seeking out Castiel, taking his hand and threading their fingers together. Angel moved to Dean’s left, as though she understood that her master needed to be close to this man. He walked Castiel back to his apartment and before he left, they made plans for dinner that evening. 

As Dean walked home with Angel he realized this was the happiest he had been in ages. He looked forward to his date later. Briefly he wondered what his family would think. Sam and Adam both knew he was attracted to men and neither one cared. His folks weren’t homophobic and he hoped they wouldn’t have a problem with him dating a man. He decided that if they did, they’d just have to get over it. Angel was ok with it, and as they walked in the house she wagged her tail happily, leaning in to kiss his cheek when he crouched down to remove her leash. What was it about Castiel that was so different? There was definitely something, and Dean was eager to learn everything there was about the man, though he didn’t want to do it all at once. No, he found himself wanting to take his time as he got to know Castiel. 

He was nervous as he pulled his car up in front of Castiel’s building, but his excitement was greatly outweighing his fear, and when the man came walking out of the building he felt his attraction multiplying triple fold. Castiel was wearing a blue dress shirt, the same color as his eyes, and black dress pants that seemed to have been designed specifically to show off his butt and thighs. Dean was pretty sure dress pants were not meant to be quite so flattering, but he liked it. One of the first things he had noticed shortly after their initial encounter that afternoon was Castiel’s unruly, dark locks. It was sexy the way it seemed to not want to let him tame it and Dean found that he didn’t want it tamed. Instead he blushed as the thought pushed its way into his head that he was dying to know what it would feel like to grab hold of it and grip it tight as he kissed those lips until they were bruised. The smile Castiel gave him as he slipped into the passenger seat was dazzling and didn’t help to quell the things he was feeling, but he smiled back as he headed for the restaurant they’d agreed upon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

His first date with another man and he’d thought he would be a lot more nervous than he really was, but instead he was comfortable, laughing and enjoying good food and even better conversation, and as it has been earlier, he found he didn’t want the evening to end. It wasn’t just the fact that Castiel listened to what he said and showed genuine interest. It was so much more than that. The man was passionate as he talked, a fire burning in his eyes as he talked about issues near and dear to his heart, such as the decline of the bee population, or genetic modification of foods, or the way those same eyes lit up as he talked about his interests, such as science fiction and horror movies, or gardening. As much as Dean loved how Castiel listened and actually heard what he had to say, he also loved hearing the man talk. As the date drew to a close he asked if he could take Castiel out again. His heart beat faster when the man smiled and said yes. They made plans to meet at the park the next afternoon to play with Angel.

Dating Castiel turned out to be the easiest thing in the world and the melancholy that had for years clung to Dean slowly loosened its grip, allowing room for the happiness he’d so long thought he would never find to make its way in. He forgot what it was like to be lonely. Whenever Castiel was near, his heart soared, and it didn’t take him long at all to realize that he was falling in love. 

Castiel was patient and understanding with Dean. He knew Dean had never been with another man before so when they finally reached that point in their relationship, he let Dean take the lead, not wanting to push him to do more than he was ready to, and it was just one more thing Dean realized he loved about the man. Before he took Castiel to his bed he wanted the man to know how he felt about him. After preparing a romantic dinner at his house and inviting his boyfriend over, he told him how he felt. He thought his heart might burst out his chest at the smile Castiel gave him, and the words that came out of his mouth.

_“I love you too, Dean. So very much.”_

It was the most beautiful thing he’d ever heard and he knew he wanted to hear more of it, for the rest of his life if possible. 

Though he had fretted and worried about what the sex between them would be like, it was all for naught. Castiel was as gentle and patient a lover as he was a person in general, and Dean found that sex with someone he loved was infinitely more fulfilling, and he soon came to crave Castiel. His lips, his eyes, his touch, his body, he wanted all of it and more. 

His family knew he was dating someone because they had all noticed the drastic change in his personality, though he hadn’t volunteered any information up until that point. It was a cool fall evening when he decided to stop by his dad and Kate’s house to break the news. The relief that had washed through him as they both assured him that all they wanted was for him to be happy and that if Castiel was what made him happy, then they were happy too. They insisted that he bring his boyfriend by for a family dinner, and so the following Sunday that’s exactly what he did. Sam and Adam were there as well and though they were initially surprised, they were happy for their oldest brother, and everyone loved Castiel. 

It was about six months after they had started dating that Dean realized he had finally found the happiness his mother had wanted him to find.

_“Be happy, Dean. Love with everything you have, and just be happy.”_

He loved Castiel, with everything he had, and he knew Castiel loved him in return with every ounce of his being. Dean hadn’t realized it was even possible to be this happy. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The following spring he asked Cas to move in with him. They’d been together almost a year and he wanted to wake up every morning with the man in his arms. Two weeks later Cas was living with him. The only person possibly happier with the new arrangement was Angel. She followed Cas around, sitting at his feet as he graded papers or lying in the doorway to the kitchen as he prepared dinner. It was little things like this that proved to Dean that he could be happier still.

 _“Be happy, Dean. Love with everything you have, and just be happy.”_

The following year he got down on one knee and asked Castiel to be his husband. His heart soared even higher when the man enthusiastically agreed, throwing himself in Dean’s arms and kissing him until they were both breathless. 

Dean found that he could still be happier. He learned this the day they joined hands and he took Castiel, for better or for worse as his husband, for the rest of his life. He’d finally found the happiness his mother had wanted for him and he had not only embraced it but was rejoicing in it. Castiel made him happier than he had ever been in his entire life and he couldn’t imagine that it was possible to be any happier than he already was.

And then they adopted their daughter.

_“Be happy, Dean. Love with everything you have, and just be happy.”_

He learned that he _could_ be happier, and that he could love not only Castiel with everything he had, but their child as well. As she grew he only loved her more, and in loving her more, he loved his husband more. Late at night, before they went to bed he thanked his mother for her words of wisdom, and for her guidance. He believed it was she that brought not only Angel into his life, but Castiel as well, and when he thought his husband couldn’t hear, he talked to Mary Winchester. He told her how much he missed her, but that he had finally learned the meaning behind her words, and that while it had taken him a long time to figure out the meaning behind them, he eventually did, and he thanked her for most of all for being his mother, even if she had only been in his life for the briefest of moments. As much as he missed her, his heart no longer ached at her memory. There was joy and happiness in his heart that had replaced the bitter pain of loss. Somewhere his mother was smiling down on him, he was sure of it.

It was late one night that Dean came up to find his husband kneeling next to their bed, his salt and pepper hair wild still as he bowed his head in prayer. At first Dean had thought he was praying to God but as the words leaving his husband’s mouth reached his ears, he felt his throat growing tight and his heart aching with love for the man. Castiel was talking to Mary Winchester.

_“Mary, I have said this before but I feel that it bears repeating. Thank you. Thank you for being the wonderful mother that Dean needed, and for bringing him into this world. Thank you for leaving the positive impression on him that you did, and for teaching him the meaning of unconditional love, but most of all, thank you for bringing him into my life. I know it was your hand that guided us together, and I will forever be grateful for him coming into my life when he did. I was lost, alone, wading through the darkness and unsure what to do until the day I met him. The moment I looked at him, I just knew. Dean was the one, the one I was meant to love for the rest of my life. He had told me your words of advice, and I have taken them to heart just as he has. I love Dean, Mary. Totally and completely, and with everything I have. And I always will. Thank you.”_

And Dean found that yes, he could be even happier than he already was.

**Author's Note:**

> So, I do hope you liked this one. I really enjoyed writing it, even if I was a sobbing mess by the end. Leave me a comment and a kudos, let me know what you think.


End file.
